This is the reason that all great explorers were men. It’s easy – unzip the flyscreen of the rooftop tent, point Percy and let go into the dark void ( forgetting that her shoes were next to the tent under that window) For women however, this is a production. It starts with grunts and some tossing and turning followed by loud unzipering of flyscrenes and flaps and muttering of wild animals waiting in the bush at the bottom of the stairs. At this point it is better to be sleeping because no matter of your action it will be wrong. Try and help by shining a torch out the window to look for wild animals and you are highlighting her plight to the rest of the camp who have been alerted to loud zip noises and wild lights being shone around, and everyone is looking to spot the animal. Next are the yelps after she accidentally squatted on a thorn bush or stood in a large fresh elephant dropping. This is followed by her reamergence and unhappiness that life is so unfair and who is to blame. (She hasn’t discovered her wet shoes yet but that’s for the morning). There are devices that can be used to assist this process such as a wee John which looks like a big purple sex toy but I would imagine that a bath would be required after operating this device and no self respecting husband would want to be party to its operation while sharing a bed in the close confines of a roof top tent – there would be no respect in the morning even after the bed has been washed. The answer is a boma and a boskak stoel next to the door for her convenience. Although we have all these things I have had other priorities so it has not been set up. Can’t be big on her list as neither has she.
